Why I Am the Greatest Man Alive

Our Salute to Tom Cruise!

tomcruise62 — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 22:39:13 +0000

In America we all have the right to freedom of speech and self expression, yet when we use this right in uncommon ways we are labeled as crazy or abnormal. How can we truly enjoy this right if we have to simultaneously live in fear of its negative consequences? If we constantly label unusual behavior as being out of the norm we are limiting our creativity and self expression. When world famous actor/producer/director Tom Cruise went on the Oprah Winfrey show and expressed his love for Katie Holmes he was widely criticized by those in the media for his irrational behavior (Oprah). Even newspapers such as “The Onion” have this to say about Tom, “Item! After I reported last time that Dawson’s cutie Katie Holmes called it quits with her fiancé, I figured we wouldn’t hear from her for a while. Color me wrong! The cutie has been snatched up by none other than Tom Cruise. Wow! Tom certainly did well for himself. Although some would say he’s dating someone half his age, I wish them both a long and prosperous relationship. Let’s hope there are kids in their future” (Harvey). This is anoher example even something as small as who he is dating matters to the American public. In other words, we are so obsessed with Tom that we are interested in anything that is said about him no matter the content refers to. Additionally, when Tom makes dumb statements such as “Psychiatry is a psuedo-science” and “Ritalin is a street-drug” industry profeesionals worry that people will listen to whatever he says although he is not qualified. Organizations such as the American Psychiatric Association publically criticizes Tom and refutes his statements. Why? If these statements are just the spoutings of a famous idiot why does the Psychiatric Assiociation get involved. Because Tom, like it or not, influences the American public. Dr. Harold Koplewicz, M.D. published an article in the Journal of Child and Adolescent Pyschopharmacology saying that he believes that people such as Tom Cruise are very damaging to people in need because his statements, “make people feel uncomfortable about seeking help” (Koplewicz). Although I could not agree more, I also believe that without Tom’s comments these important issues would never be brought up for discussion in the first place. So even though what he said may seem extremely odd to us, it is a perfect example of the amount of freedom we really have here in America. Without people like Tom Cruise who have to guts to show off erratic behavior, we as a society would have no concept as to how far our freedoms really stretch. So here’s to Tom Cruise; thanks for breaking out of the social norms and keeping our individual freedoms alive.

M.L.A.

My Journey to Lord Xenu

tomcruise62 — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 22:38:39 +0000

First a little bit about me. I was born in Syracuse New York on July 3rd, 1962, Thomas Cruise Mapother IV. Until the age of fourteen I was studying to become a priest, though I decided to change my focus to acting at fifteen. Within five years I became one of the most popular actors in the US. Fifteen years into my career I had acted in thirty-five movies, produced seventeen movies, directed one movie, wrote one movie, and have also appeared in one hundred twenty three TV shows. Some have estimated my financial wealth at somewhere around $626 million dollars, with my new movie contracts that are slated to give me around $100 million more per film. I have had three wives. The first was Mimi Rogers, then Nicole Kidman, and finally Katie Holmes. Someone told me the other day that each of them is 11 years apart from each other. I am not sure what that was supposed to mean.. oh well. I now have three beautiful children, two adopted and one that is all me, I mean all katie and me. But all of this has not made me happy. Then I found Scientology, and I have to say that it is the only way to live life in my book, so stop what you are doing and look into it. The genius L. Ron Hubbard has saved my life and shown me the truth in the world around us. Because of him and his teachings I am not setting out to save the world because I care about each and every person on it.

Love and kisses, eat your vitamins, The Cruiser (not really, M.L.A.)

Oprah

tomcruise62 — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 22:38:30 +0000

Did you guys see me on Oprah yesterday? I think I had an amazing interview. I answered all my questions with so much passion; I couldn’t help but just get off my feet, over and over again. I could not sit any longer I had to stand up and shout to the world that I am in LOVE WITH KATIE HOLMES. I did not do this to prove that I do(n’t) like men as many people have suspected. I did this out of love for the woman who fell in love with me in just a few short months, for the woman who loves me enough to leave her religion of over 20 years for Scientology and me. I had to make out with her on national television to show just how much I love women Katie Holmes.
Sincerely,
Tom Cruise (not really)

Tom Cruise’s questionable behavior of Oprah became a topic for conversation because it was the first time that anyone had ever acted like that on a television interview, not to mention the IT WAS ON OPRAH! Everytime Oprah asked him a question he did not necessarily answer the questions with words he answers them with his actions. Every question Tom was jumping up on the couch, standing up, or flailing around to show his enthusiasm. When Oprah asks,”What has happened to you?” Tom Cruise answers by standing up with both arms in the air and then gets down on the floor making excited gestures. Oprah then comments, “Something has happened to you,” and Tom answers with, “I’m in love.” We are first intrigued by this situation because of his stature in the media (ethos). We keep watching because of the nature of the interview. Oprah asks Tom Cruise questions about his life, which goes back to deal with his stature in the media (logos). Lastly we continue to be entertained by the way he answers his question and the emotion in his actions (pathos).

~M.L.A

I Love Katie Holmes!

tomcruise62 — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 22:37:44 +0000

Look at Katie! Isn’t she just the most outstanding scientology wife! And don’t we look adorable together? Now it was a long road to get to this point in my life. First, there was Nicole Kidman (and Mimi) but that didn’t work out. Then I did(n’t) go into the closet and I did(n’t) enjoy the time I spent in the closet and I did(n’t) come out of the closet to be with Katie Holmes. Now, I’m happy. I found Katie, and we are going to have a baby.
I’m not going to say that this wasn’t challenging, because it was! We had to get past the minor details of no drugs to ease the pain of childbirth, and many, many more horrible things that will happen to Katie because of my religion. This was a huge bump to get past but in the end I decided that I’m okay with Katie going through all this pain for my religion and my baby. After all, I did(n’t) come out of the closet just to be with her. So I decided that her pain was a sacrifice I was willing to make.
Yes, I can get a beautiful younger woman, cause her tons of pain, and still have her. Why? Because I’m hot and I’m famous, and I’m rich! Now I know all Americans are jealous, but this is why Americans need me. They need me to give them the confidence they need to get younger women. Think about it: Without me the older man with a beer belly would never have the confidence to hit on the younger woman with the kickin’ curves and adorable face. I give men backbone. If I can get a younger girl pregnant and force her to have a baby with no drugs, surely any guy can get a younger woman.
Love, Tom (not really)

Scientology

tomcruise62 — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 22:36:22 +0000

So I was flipping through the channels yesterday and started watching a cartoon. It was all about my religion, Scientology! Yes, a very long time ago an evil man named Lord Xenu ruled the universe and he thought his galaxy was overpopulated so he decided it was time to get rid of some of the aliens. First he rounded them up and froze them and dumped them into the volcanoes on earth, but their souls left their bodies. Lord Xenu anticipated this and decided he would suck them up and brainwash them. The brainwashed souls cling to people on Earth, even TODAY!!! Now we must protect ourselves as L. Ron Hubbard, the man who created Scientology, has allowed us to do with his science fiction grown religion.

Tom Cruise (not really ~ M.L.A)

South Park – the Scientology Theory

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Tom Cruise’s religion Scientology is intriguing to many Americans simple because we do not understand the ideas. What we do know comes from the media such as television shows like South Park. The media in most cases does not put a good spin on fairly unknown relgions. Although the audience of Tom Cruise sees scientology in a somewhat negative light the Church of Scientology describes scientology as, “the study and handling of the spirit in relationship to itself, others and all of life. The Scientology religion comprises a body of knowledge extending from certain fundamental truths,” which is a different idea then what people are given from the media(Church). If this is the main idea of Scientology why are we consumed by Tom Cruise being involved in this religion and why him mainly and not the other long list of celebrities that also practice Scientology? We listen to the other sources on how they descibe scientology. Tom Cruise is one of the few celebrities who talks about the forbidden: his personal life. People are consumed by his lifestyle which is unlike their everyday life.

~M.L.A.

Why America Needs Tom

tomcruise62 — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 22:30:05 +0000

As Americans we all spend our lives doing the same thing. We are born, and spend the first five years of our lives crying, making messes, and playing. Then we turn five and are shoved into school for at least the next thirteen years of our lives, in most cases seventeen years. Then most people get a job, where they work eight hours a day, forty hours a week. We live for the weekends, where we hang out with friends, drink and watch our choice of television. We like our lives. But sometimes, we need an escape. Now, we don’t actually want to escape our lives we just want to temporarily feel like we are escaping: a fantasy of escape. Where do we go to get this? Well…. look around, what do you see? Magazines like People and Us Weekly, Movie Theatres everywhere, and talk shows that interview celebrities like Oprah, Jay Leno, David Letterman, Conan O’Brien, and Ellen DeGeneres. Americans are obsessed. We go to these movies and for two hours we forget about our repetitive, sometimes boring, but decent lives, and fall into someone else’s life. We love the people that are best at convincing us they are the characters we see in these movies. This is where we form a select group of elite male actors: Denzel Washington, Jerry Seinfeld, Steve Carell, Brad Pitt, Josh Hartnett, John Cusack, George Clooney, Tyler Perry, Morgan Freeman, and our favorite, Tom Cruise.
Why do we love these people? Because they show us ‘life outside the box’. We, as Americans cannot escape the feeling of being trapped inside a ‘box’: our own form of Roman Stoicism. When someone asks us “how you doin’ Bob?” We answer, “just fine Sally,” “can’t complain Jane” or the typical, fool-proof answer: “good”. We create a facade of feeling good at all times, we create a repetitive daily routine where we “can’t complain”. We create our daily routine and hate it at the same time. We just need something or someone crazy to show us what life outside our routine or ‘box’ is like. We can’t explain it, but something is missing and when we see something crazy we raise our eyebrows in disapproval while our hearts leap with joy and gratitude. Someone broke out of the box and it doesn’t matter that it wasn’t us, so long as someone escaped the box. We need someone to break free so we know we aren’t trapped. It’s like if we see someone escape the box then we know that escape is an option. And escaping must be an option.
Tom Cruise steps outside the box every time he is on camera. Scratch that, he doesn’t just step outside the box, he leaps! He leaps so far outside the box with his love life with a younger/pregnant Katie Holmes and his comments on psychiatry that he has people like Dr. Harold Koplewicz, M.D. and the American Psychiatric Association making statements refuting his comments because they are so worried that the public will believe his comments. And while we raise our eyebrows in disapproval, and create web sites like “TomCruisesnuts.com” our hearts leap with joy and gratitude. Finally, someone who dares to leave the box! Tom Cruise shows Americans what life outside the box is like. And although we are not eager to join him, we at least know that life outside the box is a possibility. So Tom, we salute you: to living a life outside the box. Without freaks like you we would feel trapped with no foreseeable escape.
~MLA

Works Cited

Church of Scientology International. Church Of Scientology. 21 November 2005. 6 Nov 2007. .

Harvey, Jackie. “Is There New Love for Tom Cruise?” The Onion. 11 May 2005. The Outside Scoop: Issue 41-19. 14 November 2007. .

Internet Movie Database. Internet Movie Database Inc. 2 Oct 2007

Koplewicz, Harold. Tom Cruise: Entertaining or Dangerous? Journal of Child and Adolescent Psychopharmacology. 2005, 15(3)

Locke, Cindy. “American Psychiatric Association Criticizes Tom Cruise.” People News. 28 June 2005. People Magazine. 14 November 2007. http://people.monstersandcritics.com/news/article_9030.php/American_Psychiatric_Association_criticizes_Tom_Cruise.

Tom Cruise Biography. Tiscali. 5 Oct 2007

Tom Cruise and Oprah – Original Interview. Video Clip. Oprah 31 Aug. 2007. 7 Nov. 2007. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypfOM-hMFGM

“Trapped in the Closet.” South Park. By unknown. Perf. Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Isaac Hayes, Mona Marshall. Comedy Central. WUCW. 16 November 2005.